Belfast suffers from either the Island Syndrome, or the UK Syndrome. If you have been following Europe focused news you know that England is drowning in floods, and all radio stations are pulling awful jokes about it. So as I wake up in one of the greatest cities in Europe, the wind outside has made it's presence very apparent. This trip to Belfast is coming to an end, and it has all gone a little too fast. It has been an amazing week; we've all made new aquaintances, made fun of accents, broken a few ribs from laughing and other activities, and had a good, goood, goooood time! We are staying with a wonderful family, the McBrides. Emphasis on the word family - because that is truly what they are. I have no idea what the dictionary definition of family is, but I would like to argue that everyone needs one. No matter what happens after birth, we are all born into some sort of family. They differ in shapes, sizes, noise levels, social status and so on, but family is family. They are not something we've paid for, and can return at any time. A family is priceless, and the bonds one shares with family members is permanent. Whether disputes, distance or death try to separate - the bond can hardly be broken. While some families hurt, ache and cannot find ways to find peace and others seem to have a fun, easy time constantly; I believe in the power of a family; whether broken, or not. Illusions tell us that some families are perfect - in the sense that there is no fighting or any difficult issues. Yet fighting is natural, and only strengthens relationships. We all have to give and take, learn to appreciate, agree to disagree, laugh at old mistakes, and deal with issues, instead of running away from them. Maybe the thought is naive, but I do not think any family is beyond repair. And the more time that is put into a family, the stronger the foundation, and when the winds hit; we'll stand united. It is everyone's, each member's responsibility. The way we as humans are brought into the world, and straight into a family, with bloodbonds and so on --- it shows that God obviously had a thought with families. And ignoring the importance of family is a shame. As a Christian I am child of God, making me part of his family. That is a pretty big family, and the same rules apply there - any family is worth fighting for. Lisa McLendon spells it out in the best way in one of her songs:

Sometimes I get frustrated with you,

And sometimes you get frustrated with me,

But no matter how hard it may get,

We're stuck with each other,

Might as well get over it.

Peace

Having a go at Civilization [Edition 2]

Copy paste and cut paste and copy cut and cut copy and all these seemingly new shortcuts that overwhelm my basic computer skills enable me to transport all texts written in Word into one, big, epic, file. This has its consequences. After copy-pasting, i end up with empty files, with interesting names. Last time this happened, i found an old Word file titled "Train of thought", and I got all excited - a title that cheesy must have some good content. Or so i thought, because apparently the train of thought left on my computer is empty. All this thanks to that stupid shortcut. So now i have a "Train of Thought" text, somewhere on the computer, but thanks to the new shortcut i do not know where it is.
[I have a point with this]
I realize it is farfetched, and the introduction may have been unnecessary, timeconsuming, and maybe a little bit entertaining. Shortcuts: man's own invention to be able to live through procrastination without regret, and man's incredible way of avoiding the hard and temporary pain [which then results in constant pain for some]. The man who taught me morals came back home a few days ago, and with stories from the places he has been and people he has talked to. He told me about a twelve year old girl who takes care of her siblings, and has built a house from scratch to shelter from the rain. See, for her, the pain is not only in her soul, it expresses itself in the physical pain felt when that rain seeps through the hatch roof she spent hours patching. That does not only put things into perspective, but reminds me of how extremely lazy one can be sometimes. Civilization creates shortcuts for things that aren't even hard to do - i saw a kitchen appliance that cut the apple into perfect pieces, oh and you avoid the seeds at the same time. Great invention; thankyou for creating a problem where there is none. Civilization solves unnecessary problems. And i cannot help but think - civilization seeks to find problems in the small areas, solve them, feel good about it, but why? To avoid the Greater Question? Because we all know civilization cannot answer the question of who we are, why we exist. When God is brought into the picture, civilization only creates these shortcuts - away from facing the answer - into something else. It is temporary. Shortcuts are temporary. Soon we will all be back on the same road; and that shortcut, was just a different road, leading in the wrong direction.
I realize the shortcut metaphor is faulty, but it seems that these thoughts are universal; therefore, there is no need to explain them.
We need to face reality.

The Many Uses of Newspaper

As the press prints the newspapers for tomorrow today, they have a rough idea of whom is going to read what. Their market research tells them that the educated will start at the front, while the normal will start at the back. They know that they will sell approximately the same number of copies as yesterday, if not more since people want to know things, they need to know stuff. What they print, we read, and believe. The evening tabloids are not taken to be true all the time, but the respectable newspapers seem to be accepted most of the time. As the press prints the newspapers for tomorrow, a journalist has put a lot of effort into every sentence, every adjective used to describe; every verb used to analyze a certain situation. His hope is that his opinion will open someone's eyes. Some will open the newspaper, and read it back to back, and truly appreciate the words, the messages and the awareness that it creates. Others will frown and decide that it is all useless anyways. Others will make paperplanes, fly them high, watch them die, waiting for time to pass by. Some will read, get bored, move on. Others will cut out fun images, draw moustaches on important people's faces, write an essay based on an article, recycle for the sake of recycling... Paper after paper after paper in the postboxes, on desks, in bags, in baskets, on floors, in bins; making the layer of temporary warm security between the worn out skin of Someone and the cold ice air. If you catch my thought.
To contrast this; the shops in town have welcomed the future, and gone all Christmas crazy. And instead of hating the early timing, i embrace it. Can you see it? That cup of cinammon tea, red warmth, family and friends, inside, in the warmth, not needing newspapers to keep one warm (whether thoughts or body). Ignore the Christmas craze, and find the calm in Christmas, the Hope of Christmas. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas! Catch this thought too.
Peace

Dedicated to Bob the Drunk

There is a period in the Swedish weather change that is unfortunately quite boring. It is the shift from the warm autumn colours into the whiteness of winter. For a period of two or three weeks, everything ends up in this grey area. The leaves have abandoned the trees, and lie dying on the ground waiting to be blown off and decompose, and the trees stand there, neglected. Every time it half rains and half snows there is this hope that the temperature will drop below zero so the grey will be lit up by the white beauty of the snow. Because no matter how inconvenient snow is for life in general, it is more pleasing to the eye than the naked trees and grey asphalt. It is this period of change that Sweden has entered into, and the streets are empty because people tend to seek comfort in the warmth of their houses. If they happen to have houses to seek warmth in that is. Because it was only yesterday that I came home relatively late and bumped into a drunkard (will now be known as Bob) trying to get into our apartment building; was he seeking warmth? Did he know somebody in the building? As i waited for my sister to come downstairs and open the door for me (some dum ghetto child has messed with the lock, so one cannot get in with a key), Bob and I had a short conversation about loss of family members and funerals. Bob is burying his Father on Monday. And as i lay in my warm bed i could not help but think: What is a warm apartment building when the cold breeze always seem to find it's way to the soul? I do not even know what happened to Bob that night, whether he fell asleep in the stairs of the apartment building, or whether he found his way to an acquaintance. Hopefully Bob likes snow, because otherwise it will be a tough winter, as for many. And here we sit, in our cozy apartment buildings, complaining about our stupid little developed country issues, spending more time dressing our exterior than thinking about what goes on in our interior. It is pathetic. Despicable. Disgusting. A big shame.

Looking like i just jumped out of bed i got onto the bus Nr 1 to Gottsunda. The bus was almost empty, but supplied a man sleeping peacefully and a familiar face with seats. I happily dragged my exhausted feet over to Hanna Sandmark, the girl who manages to make half the world laugh, and the rest of the world smile! We chattered away like we do, and it turned into one of those hope-filled, psyched, we-both-talk-at-the-same-time, joy bringing conversations. Hanna is going to be a cool, popular, french speaking, wine sipping, accent dropping student in France in a year. Yeah that's right. We discussed how different our paths will be after Graduation, and how some will work, while others will go study straight away. People always inform the Graduating Flock that the "working life" is completely different from "school life", and we all nod and smile say "Yeah, I can imagine!". But can we really imagine? It is so far off. And my naive little mind tries so hard to picture a life where the daily dose of lessons, breaks, assignments, drafts, deadlines and so on do not exist - but it cannot. We are all wrapped up cozy in our cocoons, some cozier than others, knowing that life will change soon, but we have no idea how much. The change from cocoon to butterfly is dramatic. Suddenly the wings that were there all along have a purpose. It may take a while for the wings to understand why they are there, but given time, they will understand. There will be more colour, movement, a pulse to follow and (excuse the cheesiness) but an entire world to explore. We may like our secure and cozy cocoons, but something tells me we will enjoy flying a whole lot more.
Peace

Graduation Thoughts

The clock of life seems to have moved into fast forward phase. Yesterday, after my last class I spent an hour or so with Aina in the school corridors. At that time of evening, we were basically the only people in the corridor, so we busted out good music, and talked about this and that which eventually led to talk of graduation. Graduation seems to be running towards us, and between now and then, time is not enough to do all the things, but most importantly - to say all the things we want to say. It is as if we are standing on a busy highway, and vehicle after vehicle whizz past us, snatching drafts and essays out of our hands, shaking us for a moment but then leaving us standing at the same point - wondering, worrying, wishing. The only thing is that we are not at the same point, because in some miraculous way we are moving forward, gathering knowledge, discarding old opinions, and putting on new ones. We are moving forward, people. And i will allow the sentimental side win now - but honestly, do you guys realize how far we have come? Some of you came to this random country a few days before you started IB, and had to cope with the culture outside the walls of school as well as the random one inside the walls. Some still hate the culture outside the walls, but have fought to stay, and fought to stay focused. Others seem to have sailed calmly through the entire process, with their big brains and bigger thoughts. Diverse - that is what we are. So when we stand there, just about to run out those big, oak doors I know that among all other emotions - I will be honoured to run out of that building with you. These are my graduation thoughts, and I present them in a time when i feel that time is moving way too fast. This year may be a battle against time, but at least this way we will see what relationships, values and situations can stand the test of time. Graduation, the end bringing the beginning.
Peace

Thinking (temporary loss of sanity).

Thought after thought after thought, all jam packed and pack jammed into lines, into clusters, into armies of words, sentences and experiences. Climbing over each other, breathing each others air, sharing ideas, destroying ideas, helping progress, encouraging procrastination and what not. They have a world of their own. Some thoughts rise from ashes, and form ideas and plans that can only come from a true Source. While others seem to torment, and pull one further away from the Source. To think that something so abstract can take so much of ones time - depriving one from sleep, peace and in some cases common sense.

Thoughts are powerful weapons. We give them so much power. Too much power? Possibly. We assume that if we think something about ourselves, it is true. Thoughts and feelings seem to have a secret pact. Thought said to Feeling; "If I appear and give Person an idea, then You can hide all the side-effects of this obviously bad idea". What Feeling doesn't know is that when the side-effects arrive, Feeling is the one who takes the hardest blow, and Thought floats blissfully into Nonexistence. Our emotions fool themselves, and we fool ourselves through that.
Healthy thoughts should be on our agenda, but controlling thoughts is like getting out of a traffic jam. You need practice, you need skill and you need a no nonsense attitude that smacks all negative thoughts straight across the face. And in a lot of cases, divine intervention.

And you need to know how to drive, you definitely want to know how to drive if you intend to get out a traffic jam. Learn how to drive those thoughts to whichever place they belong.

Peace